Summer of Sizzle

Years of Plenty and Years of Want

By Amy Gentry

 

In our 20 years of marriage we’ve had our times of great closeness and out times of everything being “so-so.”  What made the difference?  Me. 

Was I choosing to lay down my will for his?

This has no greater a place than in the bedroom.  “Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:5 

Several years ago I read the book For Women Only by Shanti Feldhan and discovered that my sex life with my husband went hand-in-hand with his feeling of being respected by me.  That is such a foreign concept to us girls. If I was uninterested in sex or had “No” or “Don’t even ask” stamped on my forehead but yet loved, cherished, served and encouraged my husband HE WOULD STILL FELL DISRESPECTED.  (Men ARE from Mars)

It was in that realization that I made a covenant with myself.

For 1 year I would only say “yes” when he approached me for sex.

YES- 1 YEAR

“Do not withhold good from those who deserve it
when it’s in your power to help them.”  Proverbs 3:27

 

What happened?  Probably the best year of our marriage.  We had a year of closeness that was unprecedented.  You see, when I am giving him physical intimacy I get his emotional closeness AND when he gets physical intimacy he gives emotional closeness.  It’s the dance we do as husband and wife. 

Challenge:  Let your Yes be Yes!  “But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.” James 5:12