Week
3 – His Needs
By Carri Pratt /
Amy Gentry, Editor
“Wives
submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.”
Ephesians
5:22
This week read:
Song of Solomon 5:1-9
Ladies, this week
we discover the most important way a man feels loved.
In verse 5:1 Solomon
states, “I have come to my garden – my sister, my bride.” He is basically saying, here I am, take me,
make love to me, satisfy my needs and make me feel like a man. Yes girls, the number one way a man feels
loved is through physical touch. (aside
from his actual love language - click here for love language 30 second test)
When a wife
responds positively to her husband’s intimate advances he feels loved, wanted
and is affirmed that he is desired. This
also fulfills a physical need men have that God instilled in them. However, every time that we say no, withdrawal,
or make ourselves unavailable to spend intimate time alone with our spouse we
hurt the one we love.
Every negative
reaction places another brick in the wall being building between husband and
wife until the husband’s reaction is, “why even ask anymore? I am not important. She does not love me or want me.” Those are my own husband’s words when I asked
him how he felt when I turned him down.
My heart breaks to know what he was thinking.
In verses 5:3-6 we
read how the Shulammite woman models what not to do when our husbands reach out
for us. She turns him down because she
does not want to go out of her way and then what does he do? He withdrawals and goes elsewhere. And how does she feel about that? She is crushed! She realizes too late that she does not have
ultimate control and that she woke up one day to find him gone, possibly in the
arms of another woman.
This is serious
stuff! The number one reason men have
affairs or seek out porn on the web is due to the lack of physical and
emotional fulfillment from their bride.
According to M.
Gary Neuman, Rabbi and marriage counselor, “48 percent of men who have cheated
said it was because of emotional dissatisfaction. Men's egos are not as strong
as they think, and therefore, they are highly susceptible to someone serving
them up admiration outside the marriage, especially when the man is not
properly connected with his wife.”
The truth is women
do have the control. We can say yes, we
can put our husband’s welfare above our own, we can pay attention to him, and
we can meet his needs.
Ok, I know very
well what it feels like to be completely spent with absolutely no energy to
move let alone fulfill my husband’s desires.
However, there are lots of little things we can do to begin to mentally
engage in the moment until the passion level supersedes the lack of energy
level.
Absolutely start
with a quick prayer. Then respond with a
smile or hug and move on to asking for a backrub or take a relaxing
shower. Share with your husband that you
do want him and it will take just a few moments to switch gears from mommy and
professional to passionate partner. Typically
women have their minds on a hundred different things and sex may not be one of
them. However, once we take a moment to
ponder how exciting a love making session might be, our minds clear and passion
begins to take over.
Verses 5:6-8 reveal
that once the Shulammite woman’s passion began to take over she was willing to
do almost anything for the one she loved, even searching the dangerous streets
for him. “Young
women of Jerusalem, I charge you: if you find my love, tell him that I am
lovesick.” Song of Solomon 5:8
THE
FUN STUFF…
Weekly
Challenges – Pick one or do them all!
Create your own CD of romantic songs
that get you in the mood. Play it and
mentally engage in a romantic moment with your husband.
Download an app of
love songs
Flirt With Your
Husband
Make the first move this
week. (Enough said)
Send
him a text message that includes a photo of you. You can use the app “Snapchat”
for this because the photos are not stored anywhere on your phone or on the
internet. 5 seconds and they are gone
forever. (Again, enough said J )
Related
Websites
No comments:
Post a Comment