Summer of Sizzle

How to Have an Affair with Your Husband

By Carri Pratt

“How handsome you are, my love.

How delightful!
Our bed is lush with foliage;”

    Song of Solomon 1:16 HCSB

Subsequent to three children and almost thirteen years of marriage with my husband, the passion and romance was starting to dwindle from our love life.  I finally realized it was me!  I had an incredibly unthankful heart as well as a lack of enthusiasm. Rather than concentrating each day on the positive things in my life all I could see was negativity.  It was truly a miserable way to live and I was ready for a change.

It could have been tempting to find someone else that would fill up the empty spaces in my life and in my heart.  It might have even begun as an 'innocent' internet affair. 

The key word here is ‘tempting’.  Temptation is such an evil liar.  It promises the moon and delivers only heartache and grief.  Looking further ahead, what would the outcome be of an affair?  Someone would get their heart broken, and what would it do to the children?  Scripture is clear on the matter,  “And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed by Him for the day of redemption.” Ephesians 4:30. 

So, the question was, how to get the sizzle of an affair but stay true to God and family?  I found the answer in God’s design, have confidence in myself as who God designed me to be and fall madly in love with my husband!  Impossible you say?  Well there was a secret to this seemingly daunting task and it is found in the book of Mark; “Looking at them, Jesus said, “With men it is impossible, but not with God, because all things are possible with God.” Mark 10:27.

I had read that an intelligent wife knows how to properly balance her own interests and desires with those of her husband.  She knows that ‘intimate time’ is not just an appointment to keep once in a while but that anticipation and passion could become a part of my everyday life. That I should know the importance of creating a comforting environment and setting the mood for my spouse.

·         The first step I took? Pray! I prayed that God would shine His spotlight on the areas that needed some work so that I would be able to love my man for all he is worth.

·         Next, I searched my heart for unforgiveness and other barriers that were in the way.

 

·         Then, I took a look at how many things I could begin to appreciate when I looked at him with a thankful heart.

·         Finally, I had some fun!  I did some of the sweet and crazy things I did at first to capture his attention.  I anticipated time with him and set a sensual atmosphere for when he returned from a hard days work.  I felt as if I were having a romantic  affair with my own husband, and he was definitely appreciative!

CHALLENGE:  Awaken the “girlfriend” side of yourself.  Think back to when you first fell in love with this man.  What attracted you to him?  What did you do for him?  Do it again!  Find yourself giddy and tingly just thinking about him.  Discover a creative romantic side that may be buried but still exists. 

Great Reference Books:

The Love Dare, Alex Kendrick and Stephen Kendrick

Love and Respect, Emerson Eggerichs

For Women Only, Shaunti Feldhahn

Help Meet, Debi Pearl

Sheet Music, Dr. Kevin Leman

The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman

1001 Ways to Be Romantic, Gregory Godek

His Needs Her Needs, Willard F. Harley Jr.