Monday, July 1, 2013

Summer of Sizzle Week 5 Your Needs

Bible Study Week Five –
Your Needs
By Carri Pratt

This week read Song of Solomon 1:1-6
click here to read on

 “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—
    for your love is more delightful than wine.”
Song of Solomon 1:2

This week the Shulammite woman connects with every woman’s most basic need, the need to be loved. 
“The passionate kiss reveals a lot about your relationship… it is a sign of a healthy romantic marriage.” (Holman Commentary)  However, the foundation of every marriage is this: Men need to be respected and women need to be loved.

Holman’s commentary lists seven basic marital needs of women:
·         Need for a spiritual leader – one who lives out a life founded on God’s word
·         Need for personal affirmation and appreciation  
·         Need for personal affection and romance
·         Need for intimate conversation
·         Need for honesty and openness
·         Need for home support and stability

What happens if we do not get one of our needs met?  What if we don’t get any of our needs met?  Does that mean we move on and find someone else who can meet our needs?  I would have to say, no.  God makes it very clear in His word that divorce should be the very last alternative.  Therefore make a commitment to yourself that divorce is not an option. (note: if there is verbal or physical abuse, please meet with your pastor or seek a professional counselor as soon as possible)

The verse, “You do not have because you do not ask God” James 4:2, totally applies to this situation and to our spouses. Sometimes we do not have the things we desire in our husband because we do not ask him or make our needs known.  Sometimes we simply do not ask in the appropriate manner.  The Bible also says, “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.” Proverbs 21:19  Ouch!

Wives think their husbands are just going to know their needs, when actually many times the poor guy has no clue.  We don’t realize how amazing our spouse could be if he only knew what we needed from him.  We set expectations for them, don’t tell them about the expectations and then feel hurt when they fail to meet the expectations.

There is, however, one need that we are totally responsible for ourselves.  That one is the need to put Jesus Christ at the center of our lives and our homes.  

 When we put Jesus Christ, God’s one and only son, at the center of everything we do, then all things can be seen in the proper perspective.  Jesus himself said, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”  Matthew 6:33.

The perfect solution is our challenge for this week.  Tell your spouse your needs in a loving and non-threatening way, with a love letter.

Weekly Challenge

 Write a Love Letter to your husband.  Start out by telling him all of the reasons you love him.  Tell him how wonderful he is.  Then sweetly tell him about your needs.  Try not to nag, just be direct and to the point.  “I would really love it if you would …”  “I feel that my need for _____ could be better met if…” 

Please join us for this week’s survey question and discussion at:
if you are not a current member, please simply request an invitation.

Coming up:
2 Cute Tuesday – Your Needs Tote Bag
Thursday Article by Carri Pratt

Happy Independence Day Ladies. 
Let’s rejoice in the independence we receive in Jesus Christ!


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