How One Love CHOICE Changed
Everything: A Husband’s Testimonial
written by Kim’s precious
husband, Vince
It has been several
years now since Kim and her friends began Titus 2 Women. During that time, they
have offered many words of wisdom and challenges for their readers to help
improve their marriages. Kim has told me some of the success stories and some
of the difficulties wives have had believing that if they change the way they
treat their husbands that A) he will notice the change and B) he will change
too.
I can attest from a
husband’s point of view that both things can and will occur. Kim and I will be married 21 years this
November. For many of the past years, we seemed incapable of communicating
without arguing. I felt completely
unappreciated and that every decision I made was being scrutinized and judged.
Perhaps my feelings were justified, but Satan (our enemy) definitely wanted me
to feel this way. It made me not want to
not engage Kim at all. I didn’t want to seek her opinion. I didn’t want to
confide in her. I definitely did not feel I could trust her with my heart. I began to build a wall to protect myself, so
much that that after every argument I could actually visualize bricks being
added to the wall. I would dream of a
day when the wall was large enough that no hurt could penetrate it. Kim could feel this wall going up. It made
her feel even more isolated and unloved, which made it very difficult for her
to be vulnerable with me as well.
But then Kim decided
to love me in spite of how she felt about me. “What you say?”
“How can I love
someone I don’t feel love for?” It’s simple. Love is not a feeling. It is an
action. And Kim began to love me with
actions. She would set out coffee for
me. She would clean the house before I came home. She would say thank you when
I went to the store for her and instead of telling me I bought the wrong
brand. She would say “I trust you” when
we talked about the kids. These small
changes made a change in both of our hearts.
She began to feel the love she was acting out and speaking out. I began to soften my heart, slowly but steadily. I would share with her small details of my
day and even ask her opinion of some things.
Soon I found I valued her perspective and I would say something simple like,
“that’s a good idea”.
I know these are
simple acts, but they are powerful. They have transformed our relationship in
every way. Kim is now the desire of my
heart, not the enemy of it. We talk now
and enjoy each other’s company. We are
passionate and unafraid to love one another and it all started with simple acts
of kindness that most of you would do for a complete stranger.
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