Looking for the good in our children

Looking for the good in our children
By Carri P

“God don’t make no junk.” Queen Latifa, Joyful Noise

Every single day I struggle with how to handle my son’s behavior.  He is a wonderful boy with a very loving heart, however, he gets very easily excited and goes on to make poor choices regarding how he handles himself.

I have received comments and suggestions regarding his behavior from his teachers, principal, assistant principal, school counselor, psychological counselor, pediatrician and Sunday School teachers for the past seven years.  Although some try to be gentle, the bottom line is negative and discouraging.

A friend of mine recently blessed my spirit by reminding me that, “I praise You (God) because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14 NIV

It is refreshing to look at it from that perspective; my son is fearfully and wonderfully made.  God didn’t make a mistake.  God created him just the way He wanted him.

Influential people have been filling me with negative comments for years.  It is easy to become confused on how to handle the situation when listening to human wisdom.  The solution is to simply rely on God.  Seek God’s wisdom on how He wants you to shepherd His child to adulthood

It is time to stop feeling defeated and look at our children the way God does, as wonderfully made creations of His.  They are perfect in design.  It is time to become more positive and encourage others to look for the good in our children rather than pinpointing every poor choice they make.

“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13 NIV  God is good and His creations are perfect!  Embrace the unique child God has given to you.  They are truly, wonderfully made!

Challenge:  The next time someone offers a negative comment about your child, ask them to share something positive your child did as well and tell them what a blessing this child has been to you.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION REGARDING ADD/ADHD:

Any parent that is facing the possibility of ADD or ADHD or any other behavior disability can find a wealth of information online.  We should, however, allow God to be at the center of all decisions we make while researching and seeking professional guidance.

There are quick online tests readers can take to understand if their child is a “potential” candidate for ADD or ADHD.  These are simply meant to shed a little light on your personal situation and a physician should definitely be consulted regarding any concerns.

It is easy for parents to blame themselves thinking that poor behavior is a result of poor parenting.  On About.com a long embraced myth is discussed:

Myth: ADHD Is Caused by Poor Parenting

This myth has often created negative feelings of self blame in parents of children with ADHD. It is simply not true that poor parenting causes ADHD. What is true, however, is that positive parenting with clear and consistent expectations and consequences and a home environment with predictable routines can help manage symptoms of ADHD. Conversely, a home setting that is chaotic or parenting that is punitive and critical can worsen symptoms of ADHD. Click on Article: Causes of ADHD and Video: Causes of ADHD to learn more.