Friday, November 30, 2018

Overcoming The Adversary

Overcoming The Adversary

This week marks our 25th Wedding Anniversary. 

These 25 years are full of testimony of our doing life, having children, our failures...
but mostly of God's amazing grace.

We started out strong with a short courtship and a sweet wedding full of supportive friends and family. 

1 year after the wedding we moved out of town away from both sides of the family. We got settled and focused on having children and eventually had our first child, a son, and soon after our daughter arrived and eventually a 3rd child, a son--PURE JOY!

Life is so busy and all-consuming with young children and not having a close proximity relative to offer support, comfort or to babysit and also my husband worked lots and traveled for a living... and it started to wear on me....
I began to realize that our marriage was not great. 

Because of all this, He and I were rarely making time for each other and our relationship grew distant, lonely and cold.  

Somewhere around here is where I started allowing seeds of doubt and discouragement take root. 

So much of what I have learned over these years and, yes, thru suffering is... 

....that the lies of the enemy created in me a Wounded Heart, I began to have a very critical spirit. This was my broken way of defending myself, I guess. I felt powerless and this was the worlds way I tried to change things. As Cindy Hughes said that jumped out at me, "I was looking inward." I couldn't see the truth.

I was critical of my husband with my actions, my attitude, my facial expressions and body language and I was a professional finger-pointer. 
I also became critical of my oldest child who was very strong-willed and difficult to parent. 
Each gifting has an opposite, a counterfeit... My spiritual gift is Encouragement and the opposite of it is a negative and critical spirit.

BUT God...
 slowly but surely brought me out of the pit of slavery and lies.

Healing started with: 
1.) Forgiveness. I had to clean my heart.

2.) The 5 Love Languages. 
I learned that my Love Language was not the same as his. I had wrongly felt that he did not love me bc he didn't focus on what I needed (nor I his). 

3.) I was the self-help book QUEEN. 
A book called FOR WOMEN ONLY The Inner Lives of Men gave me so much revelation!

 4.) The 30 Day Challenge (basically a fast)
 If I used a sharp tongue, I had to start back at one...I couldn't make it to Day 3. My eyes were opening to all the damage I was doing and I had to stop focusing on others behavior. 

5.) Not agreeing with the lies of our enemy.

But through my very broken obedience, my husband quickly began responding positively. Out of nowhere he began complimenting me and holding doors for me and we started dating again. 
Our marriage improved drastically.

I know looking back how wrong my perspective was. Disappointment was a cloak that I wore continually and it tainted everything, even in good times I could still find things to be disappointed about.

I now choose to wear rose colored glasses in lieu of the lens of disappointment. 

God literally showed me one specific day how it would feel if he were to leave me and would if I continued to be so unhappy and miserable.  

I now see truth and ALL his beauty and enjoy him and my son immensely.

As with any testimony, I am changed.  I have been given a gratefulness to see that my cup runneth over, but I deserve nothing.

And lastly, to give others grace while they are lost in their yuck.

"Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best."

"I want to see beauty. In the ugly, in the sink, in the suffering, in the daily, in all the days before I die, the moments before I sleep." 
~Ann Voskamp from her book, One Thousand Gifts

We demolish arguments and every pretention that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we
TAKE CAPTIVE every thought and make it obedient to Christ. 
2 Corinthians 10:5

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.  
2 Corinthians 3:17-18 

The Lord asked, "Is it right for you to be angry?" 
Jonah 4:4

"Love does not hold a record of wrongs."
1 Corinthians 13:

Every wise women builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14:1

Jesus said, "I've loved you the way that my Father has loved me.  Make yourself at home in my love."  
John 15:9 (The Message Bible)

Women Encouraging Women
Transformation Through Truth & Testimony

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