Keep The Home Fires Burning

Keep The Home Fires Burning

(Written by my hubby)

Physical intimacy in marriage is like 

a campfire on a cold day.

If you let the fire go all the way out, 

it is very hard to restart. 

But if you keep some coals burning all day...

the fire will restart rapidly. ~VEH

How you achieve this is to prioritize him with spending time alone together, 
compliment and affirm him, 
kiss often, lighten up & joke around, 
make contact throughout the day, send flirty texts and leave notes for each other. 

Ladies, 

It's about to get hot, hot, hot!

I have found the one whom my soul loves. 

Song of Solomon 3:4

Rejoice in the wife (husband) of your youth.

Proverbs 5:18

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Transformation Through Truth & Testimony
Women Encouraging Women

Romancing The Home

Romancing The Home

I have a challenge for you and please seriously consider 

because it works! 

Much romance, intimacy, and connection are on the horizon and such perfect timing coming up on Valentines Day....

Come on, Ladies!! Join along and let the warm fuzzies begin.

The 15 Second Kiss Challenge

and it will do amazing things for you as a couple.

https://fiercemarriage.com/15-second-kiss-experiment

Add reminders to your phone and add them on both morning and night, so you are sure not to miss a day.

I have found the one whom my soul loves. 
Song of Solomon 3:4

I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine.
Song of Solomon 6:3

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Women Encouraging Women

Transformation Through Truth & Testimony

Lay Down Your Weapons, My Friend

Lay Down Your Weapons, My Friend

You can either choose pride/ego or you can choose LOVE.

Love is best every time.

Allow yourself the opportunity to have special relationships that are deep, meaningful and lasting. How are you obstructing the intimacy in your own relationships?

Protective walls for example. 

Those of us who have been hurt before or just have a fear of being vulnerable will certainly use self-protective ways to guard him or herself. 

Those walls seem like a great idea until we realize they keep us from getting hurt, yes

but they also keep out special friendships and romantic love as well. That just leaves you all alone and isolated...not your planned result, I'm sure.

"When you trust God to defend you, you don't need to defend yourself." 

-The Bait of Satan book by John Bevere

This New Year is full of possibilities and

it's time to break out of your self-imposed prison and trust God to bring you into amazing relationships and fond memories. 

Trade out JOY for Fear this new year 
and stop taking the bait of Satan. Those lies he feeds you, when you take them and dwell there just destroy your own life for him.

Believe Your Beliefs
and
Doubt Your Doubts.

Come back to the land of the living.
It's Time To Live & Love Again, Beloved.

Now, don't go doing this in your own flesh. Ask the Lord to lead you in the right direction. Surrender your protectiveness and weapons. It's time to die to the flesh (crucify the flesh). Begin anew walking in The Spirit where there is life and light.

Pray for new friends and the right people to come into your life because He knows better than us what we need.

No more frustration
 no more yelling at the dog
no more feeling less than
no more living like you can't keep up
no more starting each day in the negative
no more being controlled by darkness, my dear...
NO MORE.

"You have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority." 
Colossians 2:10

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." 
Ephesians 4:31-32

"Yet we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Romans 8:37

"So we may boldly say: The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?" 
Hebrews 13:6

"Which of you, if your son asks for bread would give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you then, though you are evil , know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" 
Matthew 7:9-11

"For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life." Galatians 6:8

"For the law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death." 
Romans 8:2

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Women Encouraging Women
Transformation Through Truth & Testimony

Where Is Your Focus?

Where Is Your Focus?

I had to make peace with certain things that kept springing up and stealing my joy. There was not just a lack of joy, it was unforgiveness in my heart that was leaving an open door. This open door allowed the tormentor access and with that brought judgement, bitterness, hate, and gossip into my heart which all have grave consequences. 

Oh, Let me tell you...

I was certainly tormented, but the saddest part was that I had allowed it. Once this way of being becomes habitual, it takes on a life of itself and steals from you a little more each day.

Carrying those burdens and re-living those hurts only destroys our life and relationships. Take back the ground your enemy has stolen and do it today. 

Confess the bitterness and unforgiveness to God and let it go. Close that door and turn from that broken form of self-protection.  Allow the Lord, The Great I Am to be your protector. 

The smallest steps will soon become miles if you just keep moving. Don't look back, Beloved, you're not going that way. We must let go of something to move forward. 

What has been holding you back?

"Worrying is like praying for something that you don't want to happen." ~Robert Downey Jr.

Just remember: Hurt people hurt people.

Soon you'll be immune to absorbing what others do. So now, moving right along and...

2019 is looking a Whole Lot Brighter!

"But I say to those who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.....Be merciful, even as your father is merciful." 

Luke 6:27, 28, & 36

"Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart." Proverbs 3:3

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Women Encouraging Women

Transformation Through Truth & Testimony

Don't Get Your Tinsel In A Tangle

Don't Get Your Tinsel In A Tangle

Oh, the Holidays! 

Oh, how magical and special...

O' What Fun!? Or is it..

O' What Drama. O' What Disfunction. O' What Awkwardness...

 Christmas with the extended family can be stressful, especially when the flesh is involved. If you host or show up thinking only of yourself that is a sure recipe for disaster. 

If we are offended, grumbling, complaining, keeping a record of wrongs, holding grudges, making judgements, or assuming the worst...

that is certainly proof that we took the bait of Satan and 

it's beginning to look a lot like 

TROUBLE.

The evil one is the tormenter and author of failed relationships, estrangement, wounded hearts, distrust, hurt, destruction, and

brokeness. His goal is to make the home as un-peaceful as you allow it to be.  

Our Daily Sanctification is needed for 

Peace with God and 

Peace with Others.

See clip below "What is Sanctification"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEmPy9RdoAA

"There is one simple but all-inclusive guide the Word of God gives to regulate our walk with Jesus and make us know when sin has come in. Colossians 3:15 says, "Let the peace of God rule in your hearts." Everything that disturbs the peace of God in our hearts is sin, no matter how small it is, and no matter how little like sin it may at first appear to be." (Excerpt from the book, Calvary Road by Roy Hession)

Confess and repent for your part. Ask the Lord to bring light to the root issue and to help you to walk in the Spirit, keep your peace and release that person to God. 

I had to lay down my "weapons" and surrender before my relationship improved with my husband and my son. It started with me and they quickly responded. 

I am only responsible for my response and what's in my heart.

"For he himself is our peace, who has made us both and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven." Ephesians 2:14

"Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for God's wrath. For it is written: "Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, says the Lord." Romans 12:19

"And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." 

Colossians 3:14-17

"Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a matter worthy of the gospel of Christ." Philippians 1:27

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Women Encouraging Women

Transformation Through Truth & Testimony 

Marriages Last Because...

Marriages Last Because...

Two people make a choice:

~To Keep It

~To Fight For It

~And, 

To Work For It.

This movie clip says it all about a couple about to throw it all away...but wait just a second. There's a history here and it's worth it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X2yiL7FkyU

"I have found the one whom my soul loves." 

Song of Solomon 3:4

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Women Encouraging Women

Transformation Through Truth & Testimony

Overcoming The Adversary

Overcoming The Adversary

This week marks our 25th Wedding Anniversary. 

These 25 years are full of testimony of our doing life, having children, our failures...

but mostly of God's amazing grace.

We started out strong with a short courtship and a sweet wedding full of supportive friends and family. 

1 year after the wedding we moved out of town away from both sides of the family. We got settled and focused on having children and eventually had our first child, a son, and soon after our daughter arrived and eventually a 3rd child, a son--PURE JOY!

Life is so busy and all-consuming with young children and not having a close proximity relative to offer support, comfort or to babysit and also my husband worked lots and traveled for a living... and it started to wear on me....

I began to realize that our marriage was not great. 

Because of all this, He and I were rarely making time for each other and our relationship grew distant, lonely and cold.  

Somewhere around here is where I started allowing seeds of doubt and discouragement take root. 

So much of what I have learned over these years and, yes, thru suffering is... 

....that the lies of the enemy created in me a Wounded Heart, I began to have a very critical spirit. This was my broken way of defending myself, I guess. I felt powerless and this was the worlds way I tried to change things. As Cindy Hughes said that jumped out at me, "I was looking inward." I couldn't see the truth.

I was critical of my husband with my actions, my attitude, my facial expressions and body language and I was a professional finger-pointer. 

I also became critical of my oldest child who was very strong-willed and difficult to parent. 
Each gifting has an opposite, a counterfeit... My spiritual gift is Encouragement and the opposite of it is a negative and critical spirit.

BUT God...

 slowly but surely brought me out of the pit of slavery and lies.

Healing started with: 

1.) Forgiveness. I had to clean my heart.

2.) The 5 Love Languages. 

I learned that my Love Language was not the same as his. I had wrongly felt that he did not love me bc he didn't focus on what I needed (nor I his). 

3.) I was the self-help book QUEEN. 

A book called FOR WOMEN ONLY The Inner Lives of Men gave me so much revelation!

 4.) The 30 Day Challenge (basically a fast)

 If I used a sharp tongue, I had to start back at one...I couldn't make it to Day 3. My eyes were opening to all the damage I was doing and I had to stop focusing on others behavior. 

5.) Not agreeing with the lies of our enemy.

But through my very broken obedience, my husband quickly began responding positively. Out of nowhere he began complimenting me and holding doors for me and we started dating again. 
Our marriage improved drastically.

I know looking back how wrong my perspective was. Disappointment was a cloak that I wore continually and it tainted everything, even in good times I could still find things to be disappointed about.

I now choose to wear rose colored glasses in lieu of the lens of disappointment. 

God literally showed me one specific day how it would feel if he were to leave me and would if I continued to be so unhappy and miserable.  

I now see truth and ALL his beauty and enjoy him and my son immensely.

As with any testimony, I am changed.  I have been given a gratefulness to see that my cup runneth over, but I deserve nothing.

And lastly, to give others grace while they are lost in their yuck.

"Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best."

"I want to see beauty. In the ugly, in the sink, in the suffering, in the daily, in all the days before I die, the moments before I sleep." 

~Ann Voskamp from her book, One Thousand Gifts

We demolish arguments and every pretention that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we

TAKE CAPTIVE every thought and make it obedient to Christ. 

2 Corinthians 10:5

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.  

2 Corinthians 3:17-18 

The Lord asked, "Is it right for you to be angry?" 

Jonah 4:4

"Love does not hold a record of wrongs."

1 Corinthians 13:

Every wise women builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14:1

Jesus said, "I've loved you the way that my Father has loved me.  Make yourself at home in my love."  

John 15:9 (The Message Bible)

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Women Encouraging Women

Transformation Through Truth & Testimony

Words To Live By

Words To Live By

Words are free, 
It's how you use them that may cost you something.

What's down in the well
is going to come up in the bucket.

"The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of his heart his mouth speaks." 
Luke 6:45

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." 

Colossians 3:15

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up..." 

1 Thessalonians 5:11

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." 

Ephesians 4:29

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Love In Home = Loving Home

Love In Home = Loving Home

Each time we choose a loving response over a negative reaction we are sowing seeds of blessings that WILL produce. 

Choosing to
love unconditionally 
makes your home, marriage, and family 
a haven and a blessing.

The more you look at their positives and let go of those petty things, the more your home will have joy. A joyful home and family is where your loved ones want to be together.

This holiday season is a great time to look outward at how you can be a blessing to others. 

"The son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and give his life as a ransom for many." Matthew 20:28

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." 
Galatians 5:22-23

"So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh." Galatians 5:16

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Women Encouraging Women
Transformation Through Truth & Testimony

It Began With A Lie

It Began With A Lie

Lies are whispered to you at a precise moment by a skilled deceiver. That lie, if not rejected, becomes a thought and if we dwell on that thought, it can be a reality that can pave way for disaster.

To act of the lie is where the trouble starts. 

Whether it's adultery, murder, lust, or pride...

the choice is yours, but it started with a lie.

"We take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ."

2 Corinthians 10:5

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." 
John 10:10

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Transformations Through Truth And Testimony

Women Encouraging Women

Reignite Your Dream

Reignite Your Dream

Reignite: verb

What exactly has caused your fire to dim? What is keeping you from believing in your dream again? 

Is it fear of being disappointed? Fear of getting your hopes up just to be let down? 

Well, my friend...Fear is NOT your friend and 

definitely not from God. 

Lean into your Heavenly Father and dare ask Him to reignite your passion and squash your unbelief.

It's TIME
to unbox your dreams and walk confidently into your future. Just ask the Lord, the author of your dreams, to breathe life into what you are called to do.

Do not expect others to get on board immediately and do not get detoured if they don't.

Rest in Him. Take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 
2 Corinthians 4:18

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, Move from here to there, and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

"Each of you should use whatever gifts you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in it's various forms." 
1 Peter 4:10

"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you." 
Isaiah 26:3

"With God all things are possible."
Matthew 19:26

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Transformation Through Truth And Testimony
Women Encouraging Women

Believe The Best In Them

Believe The Best In Them

As wives and mothers, so much rests on our ability to believe the absolute best in our husband and children. We are the ones that set and keep the atmosphere in our environment.  

A man that gets consistent positive affirmation from his wife has a confidence that shows clearly in his work and performance.  Speaking against your husband in any way is disrespectful, will un-motivate, and will definitely emasculate him. 

Emasculate means: to deprive a man of his role or identity. When this occurs, eventually he will leave or quit trying altogether.

The problem is not him by the way, the problem is your fear or control and a definite lack of faith.

"Every wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." Proverbs 14:1

"Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life." Proverbs 4:23

"Depart from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it." 

Psalm 34:14

"Life and death are in the power of the tongue..." Proverbs 18:21

"So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another." Romans 14:19

"and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds.." Hebrews 10:24

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need at the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear." 
Ephesians 4:29

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Transformation Through Truth And Testimony

Women Encouraging Women

Softly and Tenderly Train Them

Softly and Tenderly Train Them

Life giving words and encouragement are the answer in parenting. 

GENTLY instruct children in the way they should go. CALMLY correct them, in love. What are we teaching if we loose it ourselves...or worse, label them and call names??

Listen up parents and teachers, build up children and listen to them--carefully listen. They will give you signs and red flags when you are losing their heart. My son would say things like, "You love her more" and "Your little princess" and such because his sister was compliant instead of strong-willed like he was.

So, instead of me stopping in my tracks and saying, "Noooooo way, Honey! In no way is she more loved or more valued than you are." I would mistakenly brush off his remarks. 

I wish instead of sending him to his room, I should have taken him on a walk to INTENTIONALLY cancel the lies he was hearing.

Draw near and lean into those those that are pushing back. I believe it is a test to see: How much do you love me? How valuable am I??

Unfortunately, I agreed with what the enemy (and his fear) was telling him by my actions. 

Parents I beg you to slow down, and see REALLY SEE your child. Tell him/her every stinking chance you get how special they are in your eyes and in God's.

"And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." Colossians 3:14

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins."  1 Peter 4:8 

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Women Encouraging Women
Transformation Through Truth and Testimony

Magnetic Attraction

Magnetic Attraction 

When two magnets are facing the right direction the magnetic pull is so strong that they immediately attach together. When the magnets are facing the wrong way there is a strong force that literally keeps them apart no matter how hard you try.

There is a very important comparison here that is so true. In marriage, hurt and resentment cause husband and wife to be like the magnets facing the wrong way. Forgiveness will bring you back facing the right way and like the magnets, you become inseparable.  

START TODAY by clicking the 2 links below:

http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/challenges/drifting-apart/3-weeds-to-pull-from-your-marriage-garden

http://loveandrespect.com/

“The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:11-12

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Women Encouraging Women

Transformation Through Truth and Testimony

Trust In Jesus

Trust In Jesus

Oh, to trust in Jesus and...

NOT in

 politicians or government

NOT in 

our child's teacher, school, youth pastor, or program

NOT in

our career or bank account

NOT in 

the Stock Market

NOT in

our circumstances

NOT in

being in control ourselves

"You shall have no other gods before me." 

Exodus 20:3

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." 

Isaiah 55: 8-9

"Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."

Galatians 5:25 

"Surrender your heart to God, turn to him in prayer.."

Job 11:13

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
Romans 12:21

"Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."
Romans 12:19

"Be anxious for nothing, but in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God."
Philippians 4:6

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Women Encouraging Women

Transformation Through Truth and Testimony