The Rewarding Marriage Defined
Your Endless Love
By Kim Hawkins
Communication: Is certainly key to any relationship, but it should be considered a top priority in marriage. Are you a good listener? When a person feels like they are not being listened to, they don’t feel valued. We are attracted to people who listen. Be his safe place.
A Biased Listener is tuned out.
A Distracted Listener is not engaged.
An Impatient Listener interrupts.
A Passive Listener gives very little feedback.
The Jumping to Conclusion Listener is majority of the time is wrong. Don’t fill in the blanks.
The Judging Listener is harsh and critical. Do not assume anything or make judgments.
The Pretend to Listen doesn't care.
The Fixer/Solver Listener has missed the point of relationship.
Now Ladies, please don’t try to "fix him" by taking this list to your darling hubby to tell him he’s one or more of these. Allow God to prune you and trust that your hubby will not only see and appreciate the difference but he will allow the same type changes in his own heart.
Healthy communication is spoken in humility, is sincere, loving, positive, respectful, and uplifting. Unless you want to push him away and possibly loose him, words should also not be used as a weapon, spoken in anger, in sarcasm, or with attitude.
Let go of ALL offenses and walk in pure love and freedom. This is where our faith comes in.
“For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45
“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26
“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11
“To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.” Proverbs 18:13
Intimacy: As we have discussed, vulnerability brings intimacy. If you are operating in fear, harbor unforgiveness, have walls of self protection, anger, resentment or bitterness--that will destroy any chance of vulnerability and ultimately your emotional and physical intimacy. If one or more of these resonate with you, ask the Lord to forgive you as you surrender that specific thing to Him.
Ask God to restore your emotional trust and intimacy with your husband as you walk in obedience by keeping up your end of the deal. Physical intimacy for the wife is the ultimate vulnerability as you receive your husband in total trust. It is such a feminine and beautiful thing to allow your husband to be fully masculine just as he was created.
“As God by creation made two of one, so by marriage He made one of two.” Thomas Adams
“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine..” Song of Solomon 6:3
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” Proverbs 31:10
Fun: It is honoring to someone when you spend time with them. Laugh at his jokes and even if he pokes fun at you. LAUGH it off. Being light hearted and easy to be with will be so attractive to him and you will love the response you get.
Plan fun outings even if it’s just grabbing a quick bite to eat or running by the hardware store. Steal a kiss from him in the laundry room! Text him flirty messages while he is at work. Look deeply into his eyes and linger there. Just commit to be purposeful. Commit to be tender, happy, silly, and enjoyable and you will see a fantastic response right away, I promise!
“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22
HAVE FUN! Just do it.
I challenge you to make the most of what you have been trusted with, your husband and children. Be open to the possibility that you have some corrections to be made before too much time slips away. Some past hurts that resulted in a bad attitude, critical spirit, and being over-bearing or passive may need professional counseling. We have greatly benefited from counseling and highly recommend it. The hard work and tears pay off, I promise!!