It’s not okay to be a Martyr in your Marriage!

It’s not okay to be a Martyr in your Marriage!

by Jenn Vaught

Proverbs 21:9 (NIV) Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. 

OUCH!  You know we all do it!  I have certainly been known to and on more than one occasion.  While cleaning, I may slam a few cabinets (just a little harder), dust just a little longer in front of the TV (as needed for effect), sigh a little louder (to make sure I’m heard from the other side of the room).  My pity parties can be pretty potent.  Should I really be acting that way?  What’s wrong with me?  Am I still 12?  What’s that saying on Pinterest?  What if I’ve lost my Big Girl Panties?  Well girl, let’s get up and find them. 

Proverbs 21:19 (NIV) Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.  Scripture is obviously very clear on this subject!  Yes, we are very busy women who multi-task rings around our families and we can indeed get irritated from time to time because our plates runneth over.  I like to use what I call the Fire Dept.’s STOP, DROP and ROLL method for taming what can be my firey red-headed temper.  What’s that you say? 

·         It’s when I start to get that itchy, irritated feeling of saying where the ketchup is for the one hundred thousandth time (Yes, I live in a house of 4 men and that number for answering questions is rounded down)

·         or I see clothes on the floor less than 10 paces from the laundry hamper

·         or I’m busy running around the house cleaning up after the people who are currently sitting on the couches and watching reruns of Dirty Jobs.  Irony is very sarcastic by the way and well, you get the picture. 

I just stop, (go find my big girl panties) drop (my bad attitude) and roll (with the punches of life).  When I stop assuming that my husband can read my complicated mind or assume that he’s just dying to help me by cleaning all of the ceiling fans, somehow life seems to go a little smoother for me.  Here’s one more for the road, Proverbs 27:15 (NIV) A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day.  Do you think God’s trying to tell us something?       

CHALLENGE:  When things irritate you, STOP and think about it for a second, DROP the bad attitude and let the offense ROLL off your back by asking for help, fixing it yourself, and/or moving on!  You will actually be a happier person if you do!